The House of C

An elderly couple was having dinner one evening when the husband reached across the table, took his wife’s hand in his and said, “Emma, soon we will be married 50 years, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”

Emma replied, “Well Herman, I have to be honest with you too dear. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.”

Hurt by his wife’s sudden and unexpected confession, Herman managed to stay composed and said, “I never suspected a thing. Could you perhaps please tell me just what you mean by ‘good reason’?”

Emma said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage. Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”

Herman recalled the visit to the banker and said, “Oh. But I can forgive you for that my dear, after all, you saved our home. And the second time?”

Emma asked, “Do you remember when you were so sick and we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.”

“I recall that,” replied Herman tearfully, “And again you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”

“All right,” Emma said. “So do you remember when you ran for president of the synagogue, and you needed 73 more votes to win?”